i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize