I wish you could order shots online.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
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