not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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