PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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