shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
