I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
