so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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