chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
