Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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