i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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