why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
