If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Damn victory sex feels great
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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