this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just found puke in my bra..
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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