morning after pill = breakfast in bed
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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