just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
