youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
