I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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