Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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