How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
