his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
