I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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