I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
