It's just like the Real World with babies
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
