remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
