Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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