i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
