Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
