He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The struggles of a small town man whore
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
