i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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