You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
