Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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