i just had sex bonerless
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
