And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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