he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
