I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She bit a glass in half.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
