omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
