so explain again why im purple
no
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
