why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
