I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
just tell him i said nine months
You smell like a Billy Joel song
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
