Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
