I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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