In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
