She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
