I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
