Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
