I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
