i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
