Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
it hurts more in the daytime
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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