You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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