and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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