So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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