singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
