CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My vagina is officially offended.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
