Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
