I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
