I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
