sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
