Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Randomize
