I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's rum buckets o'clock
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
