I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize